


Still Haven't Gotten It Wrong

by mousapelli



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Captain Yamaguchi Tadashi, Friendship, Gen, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor Tanaka Saeko/Tsukishima Akiteru, Post-Canon, Senpai-Kouhai Relationship, third year first years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-05 16:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14048352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mousapelli/pseuds/mousapelli
Summary: The end of Yamaguchi's second year at Karasuno isn't going exactly like he planned, but so long as his team is with him, he thinks it might turn out all right in the end.





	Still Haven't Gotten It Wrong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SoVeryAverageMe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoVeryAverageMe/gifts).



> Written for Soveryaverageme for Interhigh Exchange 2018, who wanted friendship and bonding from the first years. I'm always a sucker for Captain Yamaguchi in future fic, and also saw some art this week of Hinata with an undercut that wrecked me, so enjoy that mental image. 
> 
> Title and lyrics from Sam Tsui's "Make It Up" which is one of my favorite songs at the moment and all about if you just keep going forward, nobody else will have any idea you're making all of it up as you go.

_I've got a little confession: I don't know what I'm doing_  
_But if you want, you can play along_  
_Maybe I'll wake to find that I went and blew it_  
_But 'til I do, I'll keep going strong_

_And I won't stop 'til I can see the dead end with my own eyes_  
_I've got a lot to prove, oh_  
_And if I do get stuck, I'll just wait for better luck_  
_And if it never comes, I'll make it up_

_I make it up as I go, I make it up as I go  
Still haven't gotten it wrong_

\-----

The day the third years are meant to retire, morning practice starts with Hinata strolling in with an undercut. 

"Wow," Yamaguchi says. Hinata rubs his hand over the bareness of his neck absently, and the two first years Yachi has been training both clutch at each other, eyes wide. One hilariously taller than Yachi herself and also a boy, but that doesn't seem to matter against the coolness of Hinata's new haircut. 

"Seriously?" Yachi exclaims, indignant, next to Yamaguchi. She puts her hands on her hips, and Yamaguchi has to swallow a laugh because he's worried she'll whack him with her clipboard again. "Is that guy _kidding_ me? I can barely keep those two in line as it is! Who allowed him?!"

"Don't worry, I don't think it's meant for them," Yamaguchi chuckles, watching Kageyama catch sight of Hinata just as he's putting his hands up to set. The ball slips right through his fingers and smacks him square in the face. Yamaguchi gives up and laughs hard, clutching his stomach. 

"I can't handle this today," Yachi mutters, stomping off. Yamaguchi goes back to stringing up the net, grinning at Tsukishima when he materializes to help. His expression is also a great big thundercloud, which, as always, only makes Yamaguchi want to be more cheerful. 

"Morning, Tsukki!" he chirps. Tsukishima grunts. "Something happen this morning? You're usually not this pissed off until after history class."

"My brother's home," Tsukishima says sourly. Yamaguchi folds his arms and waits until Tsukishima heaves an aggravated sigh. "He came home late with Tanaka-san again, drunk because he's a lightweight, and I share a wall with him, unfortunately. This morning at breakfast he looked like a t-shirt that had been wrung out and shoved in a gym bag wet."

"That's embarrassing," Yamaguchi grins, again struggling not to laugh because Tsukishima looks mad and sleep-deprived enough to do a lot worse than Yachi and her clipboard. "Don't be too hard on him, though. Tanaka-san is _hot_."

Tsukishima gives him the blackest stare, muttering, "Every single one of you…"

Coach Ukai, Takeda-sensei, and the third years come in just then, interrupting everything. They'd been in the coaching office, Ukai having asked the five of them to come for a private talk before saying goodbye to the team. Takeda looks glassy-eyed, along with a few of the third years, but they all look proud and happy too, as well they should after making it to the finals of Spring High for the second year in a row. Tanaka in particular is in the middle of a loud story that has Nishinoya laughing and Ennoshita giving them both the side-eye. 

"She comes in this morning, finally, _still_ drunk," he's saying, waving his hand in front of his face like he's fanning away alcohol fumes. "Crazy walk of shame, and she's so proud of herself, she's like a drunk samurai stumbling back in after raiding some lord's castle. I'm telling you, man, my sister messed some dude UP last night!" 

"AAAAAGH!" Tsukishima roars, appearing from nowhere and making Tanaka shriek in surprise as Tsukishima shoves him square in the center of his chest so hard that Tanaka takes Nishinoya down with him in a heap of flailing limbs. 

"Now, now," Takeda says. He hauls Nishinoya up by the shoulders, dusting off his back. "I know we're all excited to have the new captain announced, but let's try to contain ourselves."

"Yeah, man, no need to go Super Saiyan, damn," Tanaka swears, hauling himself up more painfully. Tsukishima cracks a knuckle; Ennoshita and Yamaguchi exchange a silent glance before they each grab one of Tsukishima's shoulders and push him casually away from Tanaka. 

"All right," Ukai claps his hands, and the team sits on the floor in front of them. The team is bigger this year than it was last year; because of their good tournament rankings they've started gaining more recruits than the pitiful number of four of them that dragged themselves in their first year. Yamaguchi helped change that himself, he knows, all four of them did, and Yamaguchi is full of pride as he looks over the eight first years they have this year, all of them shoving at each other or fidgeting in excitement as they wait to hear who their new captain will be. 

Yamaguchi wonders if they can even imagine someone besides steady, consistent Ennoshita being their captain. Last year, when he was in their spot, Yamaguchi remembers feeling the same way about Sawamura, that surely he would leave a space so big no one could hope to fill it. Now when he looks at Ennoshita standing between Ukai and Takeda, Yamaguchi wants to tell him that nobody can fill his space either. 

Maybe he will tell him that, Yamaguchi promises himself. When they have a moment alone, he will. 

"First, a round of applause for our seniors," Ukai is saying, the noise snapping Yamaguchi out of his thoughts. Tsukishima shoulders Yamaguchi for not paying attention, eyebrow raised, but Yamaguchi shakes his head with a smile. He's okay. "And one more for our retiring captain, who took us all the way to Nationals."

Ennoshita bows so deep, cheeks pink from their clapping and whooping, that it's a wonder he doesn't fall over. His voice is thick when he says, "It's me who should be thanking you."

"That's enough of that," Ukai says, slapping Ennoshita across the shoulders. "Cry over entrance exams instead. So of course, none of you will listen to a thing I say until I tell you the new captain and vice captain, so let's get it over with. Yamaguchi and Hinata, come up here."

"Wha?" Yamaguchi blurts, frozen while Hinata is already scrambling up. Hinata is glowing like the sun he's named after, while Tsukishima has to elbow Yamaguchi hard to get him to rise too. He feels like he's sleepwalking as he takes the four steps to stand between Ukai and Hinata, water filling his ears and all but drowning out Ukai's words as he names him captain and Hinata vice captain. 

"PLEASE TAKE CARE OF US!" Hinata yells for the both of them. His bone-crushing hug is what snaps Yamaguchi out of it, and the way Hinata is vibrating against him from too much emotion. Yamaguchi squeezes him tightly and draws in a deep breath, swallowing against the tightness of his throat. Karasuno needs a captain, not his tears. 

"Thank you for trusting me with this," he says, bowing and dragging Hinata down with him. "I'll work hard for Karasuno."

"Please take care of us," Tsukishima calls, voice droll, but Yamaguchi knows he means it, and he can straighten up with a smile. 

"That's enough hanging around, get to work," Ukai orders, shooing the first years to their feet and letting Yachi bark her own orders at them. To the second years he says, "You four, over here."

Yamaguchi exchanges looks with Tsukishima and Kageyama as Ukai draws them into the relative quiet of the corner. Hinata looks curious too, but entirely willing, and Yamaguchi is already thinking about what kind of team the two of them will make. 

"We wanted a word," Takeda is the one who starts; Ukai beside him has his hands on his hips and is looking them over like he's still thinking about their choice. "We just thought…well, we wanted you to know, that it could have been any of you for captain. All four of you have been exceptional ever since your first year." Yamaguchi looks at his feet at this, but Tsukishima elbows him again. "You've all grown so much, and all of you are devoted to the team."  
"You've met enough teams to know that there lots of different kinds of captains," Ukai takes over, brow furrowed. "Aoba Jousai's Oikawa wasn't anything like Fukurodani's Bokuto, and Date Tech's Futakuchi is different than Nekoma's Kenma."

Yamaguchi nods along with the others, thinking about how Nekoma's team changed when their captain changed from Kuroo to Kenma. Hinata said that Haiba Lev will be their captain this year, and Yamaguchi wonders how they'll change this year, especially with Nekomata-sensei finally retiring the coach position to his assistant. 

"Each of you would have been a different type of captain," Ukai continues, holding each of their eyes briefly. "Each of you would have captained a different Karasuno. We tried hard to consider what Karasuno would need most this year, and so we chose Yamaguchi. But I hope the rest of you will lend your individual strengths to the team as well this year."

"Yes, coach," Kageyama answers promptly, and the rest of them repeat it. Yamaguchi feels almost embarrassed that Ukai would think he has anything to offer that's better than what the other three have, but before he can dwell on it, there's a light touch to his shoulder. 

"Congratulations, Yamaguchi-kun," Ennoshita says when Yamaguchi turns. It's so strange to see him in the gym wearing his school uniform instead of his jersey or a sweat-soaked T-shirt, but his expression is calm as ever. "Can I talk with you a moment?"

"Sure, cap—" Yamaguchi catches himself and flushes. "Sure."

They go outside, although just on the step so that Yamaguchi won't have to change his shoes. Neither one of them say anything for a moment, the familiar site of Karasuno's campus in the early morning light stretching out in front of them, the bounce of volleyballs and shouts of their teammates at their backs. 

"I just wanted to apologize," Ennoshita says. Yamaguchi looks up at him in confusion. "I'm sorry for handing something to you that's so heavy."

"I'll take my responsibilities as captain seriously," Yamaguchi promises, but Ennoshita shakes his head. 

"I know you will," he says. "That's not what I mean. Sawamura said the same thing to me last year and I didn't understand either at first, but now I do. When he was captain, we went to Nationals for the first time in a long time, so no one expected anything of us. This year, trying to return again, there was so much pressure to prove that wasn't a fluke or an accident. Now we've gone twice, and every year only adds more weight to that. So I'm sorry."

Ennoshita offers Yamaguchi a bittersweet smile, and Yamaguchi swallows, trying to figure out what to say to that. He's still in shock, mind mostly blank. "I guess I don't understand yet. But I'll do my best, senpai."

"I know you will." Ennoshita slaps Yamaguchi on the back but lets it rest there, his palm warm pressure between Yamaguchi's shoulder blades. "I know even when it's not enough, you'll get up again anyway, and that's why we chose you."

Flustered by the praise, Yamaguchi mutters another thank you. 

Three weeks later, when they don't even make it out of the second day of the Newcomer's Tournament, Yamaguchi feels exactly the weight that Ennoshita was talking about it. It's crushing, like all the gravity in the world has been doubled, trying to pull Yamaguchi down to his knees. Every step off that court is agony, and it's nothing compared to having to look his teammates in the face afterwards. 

"Don't say sorry," Tsukishima cuts in harshly as Yamaguchi is opening his mouth to do just that. Tsukishima's frustration is so thick Yamaguchi can taste it in the back of his own throat, bitter. "Don't insult us like that."

Yamaguchi looks from him to Hinata, still scrubbing away tears, to Kageyama, whose jaw is clenched so tightly his temple has a vein standing out. The first years are staring at him, waiting. Yamaguchi draws one very slow breath in, and lets one very slow breath back out. 

"We have a lot of work to do," he says simply, glad his voice doesn't shake. "To start with, we have to thank our cheering section."

On the bus ride home, everyone falls asleep, but Yamaguchi stares out the window, watching the scenery blur by. What is it that he has that other three don't, he wonders to himself. He keeps on wondering about it that night in bed, staring at his ceiling as his thighs and forearms ache with exhaustion. He's still wondering about it when he catches the first train and goes to unlock the club room, wanting just to sit by himself in the familiar place for a while. 

He isn't disappointed to find Hinata there already, though. 

"Hey, Vice Captain," Yamaguchi says lightly, pulling the door shut. Hinata is sitting on the floor, back against the wall, and Yamaguchi slides down the wall to sit next to him, shoulder to shoulder. "Didn't expect even you this early."

"It's not that much earlier than I usually get here," Hinata says ruefully. He has circles under his eyes, but the smile he offers Yamaguchi is bright and real. "I told you, right? How in first year Tanaka-senpai came so early every day that first week to practice with Kageyama and me. Today when I was biking in it was just like that, so cold and dark and early. But I didn't mind it."

"You never mind your commute," Yamaguchi chuckles. "Just thinking about it makes me want to die." He slaps Hinata's thigh. "But I'm thankful for it because that's where these come from."

"I'll teach you my workout plan any time!" Hinata exclaims, laughing. "You gonna be strict like Sawamura-senpai with the new freshmen, Captain?"

"Only if they're dumb enough to blow off the Vice Principal's wig," Yamaguchi teases, poking Hinata in the side where he knows he's ticklish. Hinata shrieks and slaps at him, and they have a girly slapfight for about five seconds before they both slump back against the wall. "Seriously, though. What are we gonna do, huh? Yesterday was awful. How can we fix it?"

"You don't know? Don't ask me, I'm a moron." Hinata's head drops onto Yamaguchi's shoulder; the weight of it, unlike the weight of captain sitting like cement across Yamaguchi's shoulders, is pleasant, reminding Yamaguchi he isn't alone. "Isn't that why you're captain? You knew what to do yesterday, to keep us moving."

"Keep it a secret, but I have no idea what I'm doing." Yamaguchi sighs. He scrubs at his face. "Kageyama's better at game plays, and Tsukki can always see the whole court. How am I supposed to lead the team anywhere when I don't know where I'm going myself?"

"Aw, nobody does," Hinata says. He sounds so cheerful about it that Yamaguchi stops and actually listens. "You think Sawamura-senpai knew what he was doing with us? You think Ukai did? Coach is just as sleep-deprived as me, I think half the time when we think he's watching us thoughtfully, he's asleep with his eyes open dreaming about picking soybeans."

Yamaguchi starts laughing, quiet at first, but then harder, until both of them are snorting with it, leaning against each other. 

"Hey, Shouyo? Your undercut is really cool," Yamaguchi says after they've both calmed down, limp against the wall. 

"Thanks," Hinata hums. "Yachi said she was going to murder me, so it really must be good."

Some of the pressure in Yamaguchi's chest eases. "I'm glad you're here with me. You make me feel like it's fine even if the team's a mess, that we can always try again." As soon as the words out of his mouth, Yamaguchi hears Ennoshita's voice, feels the warmth of Ennoshita's palm between his shoulder blades. 

"Everything IS fine so long as we have a team!" Hinata exclaims, with so much feeling it makes Yamaguchi's chest ache pleasantly. "You can't play volleyball by yourself, trust me, I know. So let's fix it, ok? Because this is my last year and I want to play with you guys as long as possible. I want Karasuno to stand on the court the whole way until the end."

"Me too," Yamaguchi agrees, throat tight. "That's what I want, too." 

The weight on his shoulders is still there, still so heavy, but Yamaguchi gets his feet under him and stands up anyway. If he just keeps on standing, he thinks, he'll get used to it. 

"I can't wait until there's first years," Hinata says as they're changing. He's bouncing on the balls of his feet when Yamaguchi looks over, like he's ready to take off running right now, only his school shirt on, no pants. "They're gonna call me Vice Captain and I'm gonna buy them meatbuns and they'll think we know _everything_."

"You make everything sound fun," Yamaguchi laughs. "They might hate us once we've given them laps and scolded them for being late to practice."

"No no, that's Tsukishima's job," Hinata says, voice muffled by his shirt. "I'm fun vice captain and Tsukishima is scary senpai and Kageyama is stern team mom and you're strong we can do this captain."

"That's what you think about me?" Yamaguchi asks. He feels awed by it, the trust Hinata is putting in him. 

"Yeah, man. Of course." Hinata's head pops out of his T-shirt finally. "You trained so hard to be a regular this year, and now when it's your serve, everyone relaxes. See? We're gonna be the two everybody loves!" 

Yamaguchi stares at Hinata while he thinks about that for a long minute, two. Hinata stares back, steady, smile unwavering. He understands right now, deeply, why Ukai chose Hinata for vice captain. He still doesn't understand about himself, so much, but he regains a little faith that if Ukai was right about Hinata, then he could be right about Yamaguchi too. 

"Well, all right." Yamaguchi holds out his fist. "Let's do it then."

"Obviously!" Hinata bumps his own fist against Yamaguchi's. 

"Are we interrupting something?" Tsukishima asks archly from the doorway, and even though he isn't, Yamaguchi turns bright red. He turns to glare and Tsukishima and Kageyama are standing in the doorway, Tsukishima looking unimpressed, Kageyama looking sour. 

"Hmph, maybe you are," Hinata sniffs, purposely turning his back. "Early bird gets the worm, Bakayama."

Yamaguchi thinks about Kageyama hitting himself in the face with the ball and decides that he should probably help his vice captain out, since he's the good captain and all of that. 

"So with Tanaka-senpai retiring, we'll have to rub your undercut for good luck, right, Shouyo?" Yamaguchi reaches over to run a hand over the back of Hinata's head, making him straighten up in surprise. Yamaguchi looks up to catch eyes with Tsukishima in silent communication. "What do you think, Tsukki?"

"Definitely." Tsukishima takes half a step back and grabs Kageyama's shoulders so that when Yamaguchi cheerfully shoves an unprepared Hinata forward, he crashes right into Kageyama's chest. "Go ahead, King. Rub it for luck."

Kageyama and Hinata are staring at each other, both of their faces pink, and Kageyama is just opening his mouth when they are interrupted by a shriek from outside the club room door.

"Yachi-senpai!" It's one one of their managers, it's probably all of their managers, and Yamaguchi rolls his eyes to the ceiling and prays for strength as she continues, "You told us all those stories from training camp were just _rumors!_ "


End file.
